Forgiveness

“You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you.” ~John Shipp

I’ve been wrestling with forgiveness lately. I love the world wrestle, because when it comes to the deeper, more challenging work of self-reflection I find it is not something I can always work my way out of. I often wrestle with it. One moment in surrender and the next ready to get in the ring and battle.

I want to stay very tenderhearted, able to empathize and understand why someone treats me the way the do. I often make up stories about the person who cuts me off in traffic, imagining they are rushing to the hospital to be with a loved one. It keeps me from being angry and in turn bitter. A bitter heart is just the worst. It’s so hard to soften a hard heart. I know from experience. I too have been hard, and if it’s up to me I will practice forgiveness a million times if it means I can stay soft.

But this tender heart of mine seems to come with a lot of bruises. That’s probably why it’s called a tender heart. It gets sore from exercising so much forgiveness. It gets bruised bearing the lashings of others and carelessness of many.

While reflecting on all this I realized the person I was most upset and hurt by wasn’t someone else, it was myself. I was angry that I would allow others to treat me in ways that hurt so deeply. I’ve been working on forgiving myself. I did the best I could at the time I soothe. I will resolve to not allow others unkindness to pierce my heart, because they are hurting. Hurt people, hurt people. I know this and I know that I too have hurt others. I can forgive them only because I have forgiven myself. I can love them because I love myself.

Today I am choosing to be better and not bitter. I am doing the best that I can, just like everyone else. I hope that if you are hurting you will forgive and you will choose to get better and not bitter. If you have hurt someone, forgive yourself and choose to begin again, even right now. Today is a good day to love yourself and to love others. Wishing you forgiveness and kindness today and always.

Love~Erin